The Valley of the Shadow

Brock was born 30 years ago today. It seems like yesterday and 100 years ago all at the same time. He died when he was six months old.

Somewhere along the way I read these words in a book that summarized this journey of grief so well. I wish I could share the author and the book with you, but for now here are the words that have been so meaningful.

“The Valley of the Shadow is the very long time between the death of your child (or any loved one) and your reinvestment in life. Between is not supposed to be a permanent resting place. The key to transition is yourself. You must choose between life and the valley. You must make the decision again and again each day. Giving in to the valley is tempting. Choosing to move on takes a great deal of work. It is a daily struggle full of tears, anger and self-doubt, but it is the only alternative to surrendering yourself to the valley. Little by little you choose to move on. It takes far longer than you had believed - even prayed that it would be. When one day, you find yourself able to do more than choose merely to live, but also how to live. You will know you are leaving the valley of the shadow. There will be more work to do, mores struggles, and more choosing, however the valley stretches behind rather than in front of you.”

Jay and I are thankful to have made it through the valley together.