Breathless Haste
In the early part of 2009, Jay and I were sensing that our season at Willow Creek Community Church was drawing to a close. We had an amazing six-year run there, but we were feeling restlessness in our souls. In April 2009, I met with my Spiritual Director, and I was discussing this unease with her. She reached to grab a bible, and she read to me, "...At a destined hour it will come with breathless haste. It will not fail. If it delays wait for it, for when it comes there will be no time to linger…” Habakkuk 2:1-4.
I said,”Breathless Haste? That is how we left Greenville to move to Chicago. I wonder if that is how we will leave?” I went home and began to look through every translation of the bibles that we had at home, and I couldn’t find one version that even came close to the wording of “breathless haste.” I went online and searched and again found nothing. I finally asked what version of the bible she was using that day and she said it was the New English Translation (NET) bible.
Jay and I decided to do a 30-day challenge with the scripture in Habakkuk 2. We were both going to read it each day and then discuss what we were hearing or learning from it. We had never done anything like that before nor have we done it since that time.
One day I read it and then read the side notes in my bible. It said that he was on the watchtower (with an attitude of expectation - not fear), because he wanted to be in the best position to hear God's word. One day, I read and reread the scripture, and I noted, "I will stand...I will climb...I will take up my position." Habakkuk acted while he waited for the vision. It also said, "write down the vision." Jay and I decided it was time to write a resume, so that it was "ready to be carried."
At one point, Jay and I began taking turns on the watchtower. One night, he would be up at 3 or 4 AM and then another night, I would wake up, and it would be my turn. One of those early awakenings, Jay journaled until he got to his "resignation letter" that he had written earlier in the back of his journal. He had written it, more as an exercise to express what words he would like to say, not necessarily something that he would send to anyone. He said that he felt like God was asking him to resign before he had another job.
In the economy of 2009, quit without another job?
I told Jay that I thought he should not quit before our upcoming trip to Africa. He had put a great team together and that was what he was passionate about, so we agreed to hold on a little longer. Another day, I read the scripture again, For WHEN it comes (the vision), not if, but WHEN. Ok, God has a plan. Hang in there.
On another day, I was reading from Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton. She said, "The discernment process involves a major commitment to listening with love and attention to....those who will be most deeply affected by our decisions." In my spirit, I heard that we needed to talk to our kids about what was happening inside our souls. So, we shared with our 13 year old daughter and our 10 year old son that we felt like God was up to something, but we didn't know the details - not when, not where. The conversation was holy ground. It was another confirmation that God was moving.
I began to see in my mind a trapeze artist - one that has to let go of one bar, before he can catch the next. And God was asking us to be in that place of letting go of Willow Creek before the next bar was in sight. Frightening for sure. At one of my nights on the watchtower, I was reading John Ortberg's book, If You Are Going to Walk on Water, You Have to Get Out of the Boat. And there I read the story about a trapeze artist. Confirmation again.
Jay decided to make a few phone calls to make some connections about other job possibilities. He talked with Reggie McNeal, a leader in the missional movement. Reggie suggested several places for Jay to check in to and several places from which he should stay away. Always good to know someone on the inside!
Reggie mentioned Dr. Vic Pentz, Senior Pastor at Peachtree Presbtyerian Church, and the Peachtree Global Fellowship, PGF. That night, Jay and I looked at the PGF's website and we both were astonished at how much their vision lined up with Jay's vision. Jay decided to email Dr. Pentz, of course thinking that his email would fall into the bit bucket at such a large church. Within a day, Dr. Pentz emailed Jay and asked for his resume and his story.
As we prepared for our trip to Africa, we had a strong sense that it would somehow mark the finish line for us at Willow Creek.
On July 2, Jay’s first day back at work after out trip to Malawi, his office phone rang and it was the Executive Pastor at Peachtree Presbyterian telling Jay about a role that really fit his sense of calling. Over the ensuing weeks, God made it clear that He was not just releasing us from Willow, but He was calling us to something new.
In August with breathless haste, we put our house in Chicago on the market, packed our personal belongings and moved to Atlanta - just four months after we intently sought God's will for our family with these verses from Habakkuk.
Jay has now been on staff as Peachtree’s Pastor for Mission for over eleven years, and I joined the staff eight years ago.
Questions to Ponder:
What trapeze bar is God asking you to let go of?
What would it feel like to fall into God's will for you life?